Emotional security

i've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and there are so many things i would like to type here but i don't have time to type everything i want to. So, i'll just begin and see where it goes.

i guess one of the thoughts that doesn't want to let go has been that of the fact that Padrone and i have reached the point in our relationship where neither of us has to ... hold onto the other.

That sounds funny, i know, especially in today's society, and it does NOT mean that either of us takes the other for granted. What i mean by it is that i *know* that Padrone is with me because HE wants to be here, and He trusts the same about me. i don't have to act in ways that are designed to....i don't know, maybe what i mean is that my thoughts aren't along the lines of "i hope i don't upset Him or make Him unhappy because if i do He may release me". And He no longer feels that He must act Domly all the time, to keep the submissive in me directed towards Him constantly. We have relaxed in some things, we both act appropriately, and since we trust the actions of the other, our relationship has been able to move beyond that and into one that is not so "behavior-based" for lack of another way to describe it.

It is as if, rather than keeping our "arms" wrapped tightly around the other to "keep" them with us, we can finally let our "arms" relax and get busy with other things, knowing that the other is not going anywhere.

Emotional security. That is a gift .... but it isn't one that comes cheaply. We have both worked very hard to gain what we have. This relationship has not come easy, it hasn't been a smooth ride, although i think we have reached a place that we are each... monitoring without obsessing.....and are more readily able to identify problems, and discuss them before they reach the point of imminent danger to the relationship.

Maybe that's the entire point. We have wanted what we have for so long, and now that we finally have it, we protect it very well. Our relationship is so valuable to each of us, although i would have to say that Padrone Himself is FAR more valuable to me than our relationship.....and even though it would literally handicap me to the point of emotional paralysis....if He ever felt that His happiness depended on releasing me....then i would want nothing more than His happiness....

Alright, i can't talk about that anymore.

i am not sure if that thought came across...about us not needing to hold onto one another anymore. We can focus on other things in our relationships, all the while monitoring where we are, and it is a VERY wonderful place to be.

Padrone, i thank You so much for leading and guiding this relationship into this place, and not letting me become complacent.....and not becoming complacent Yourself. i know You value me highly, and i know that You don't feel that i take You for granted either. What we have, Padrone, is something rare, beautiful, and immeasurably special.

i am Yours....You are mine....because we each want to be where we are.

i love You.