I'm Still Here, Promise!

Finally a moment to breathe. It has been a hectic, hectic couple of weeks around here! Work got incredibly busy and stressful, and I guess that the nature of the beast is that there are few people that I can trust, even to actually give me correct and complete information on how to do what I am supposed to do. Everyone has their own agenda. Maybe being self absorbed is a good thing in this kind of environment, because frankly, it is all I can do to take care of my *own* issues. I can't imagine how much time and energy it takes to plot and plan and scheme the way some of these folks I work with do. And the way they try so hard to keep "stuff" stirred between folks is just truly amazing to me. I mean really. We're all adults. Let's just go to work, do our jobs, and go back home. Who cares if I didn't smile at you this morning? Why does that mean that I am "upset with you because of "??? *deep breath* I have no idea why all of this comes as a surprise to me. I guess I kind of assumed that we would all be too busy to worry about what "he said/she said", but apparently we aren't. It's alright, I'm just venting here because it's safe to do so without being "tattled on" - lol. But work has been stressful with being left to learn things on my own, given little or no direction and often that is incorrect information. It is getting better, overall, and a lot of it is because I am just doing things and if they're wrong, I am just going to say "nobody bothered to show me how to do it right, just told me to do it", which is nothing but the truth. So I have typically been typing here on the weekends since I have started teaching. The past two weekends have been even busier than the weeks, believe it or not! A wedding, a flying trip to my parents' house 2.5 hours away, and a 3 day festival where my daughter had a booth for her photography all ate my time and kept me from spending much time with Padrone even, much less with any time or energy to type here. But it is good, life is fun right now even with the school issues. I am thoroughly enjoying being a teacher. It's not as different as I expected, I think I just didn't expect to be ... included, or something. I thought my newness and the fact that I live an hour away would help to insulate me from some of the "stuff". And it has, believe it or not! But yesterday.... Yesterday I ended up having to drive to a town that is 50 miles north of where I live for what ended up being a useless errand. There is an adult store there. Padrone had me to shopping at the store, looking for a pyrex butt plug. I also asked if I could get some new nipple clamps, and he said yes as long as they aren't too expensive. So I went. I am always horny when I go into those stores. I don't know if it is because I am horny before I ever get there, and everything just magnifies what is already there, or what. But I feel incredibly sexual when I visit a shop like that. So I took my time looking around, pondering, imagining Padrone using the toys, imagining the sensations that one might experience. The only pyrex toys they had were quite slim, and not at all cone shaped, so they weren't what he wanted me to get. I did find some adjustable nipple clamps with a chain and a removable weight, which are different from what I own already. I also found some nipple stimulation gel - I know, hyped stuff usually doesn't work well, but this works very well to harden my nipples and it kept them hard for a while. I think because I nursed my kids forever I lost some sensitivity in my nipples, and maybe that is why I enjoy them played with roughly and painfully, who knows? Anyway, when I went to check out, the man was very suggestive. He outright asked if I needed help testing my products. I laughed and said, "Not today, thanks, but if I ever do I'll let you know!" I was the only customer in the store at that time, and he was the owner, so I know he would have "helped" if I had wanted him to - lol. I had been wearing my butterfly the entire time I was gone from home, even on the useless errand, and when I texted to tell Padrone that I was finished in the store, he called. I have a major love/hate relationship with that butterfly because I am apparently physically incapable of cumming from nothing but clitoral stimulation. That butterfly feels sooooooooo good, it is so incredibly arousing, until it brings me *to* the edge and I cannot go over it! Padrone thoroughly enjoyed my desperate, frantic begging, even for a touch to my nipple, to send me over the edge! He granted it a couple of times, and today my clit is tender as I know he enjoys. Last night was an EXCELLENT football game, for my team at least, and today has been laundry and chores, and otherwise being a bit lazy and relaxed. It has been wonderful. I'm alone right now, and hopeful that Padrone and I can have some time together while I am alone. I miss the amount of time we used to have, and the intimacy that I tried hard not to take for granted but which I miss most of all. :) I love you, Padrone. I am glad things seem to be settling down just a bit and the next little while seems less hectic than the past few weeks. Next weekend is a long weekend, as we discussed, and next month I have a full week off for Thanksgiving! I am so yours, my Padrone, even when I cannot overtly show it as much as I used to. Thank you for being so proud of me, for guiding me, and for welcoming the changes even when they are difficult because of how much difference all of this makes in my life, for me, and for us. You are an incredible, loving man, and I am unbelievably blessed to be your woman. Grazie, mio meraviglioso Padrone. *bacio*