Finally a breather

But not for long, of course - lol.

A brief update about school. It's been really difficult. Not the material itself, rather the workload on top of working all the hours i am working at my job. i had never done a power point presentation before, but i'm not a ppt virgin anymore! i have learned how to submit an assignment on the computer program they wanted, and i have scanned and emailed assignments, learned about APA formatting, and am becoming best friends with my printer. It's been really amazing that the biggest difficulty i have faced in the sheer VOLUME of work they expect, along with learning how to present what i know. i really expected a different set of difficulties but they haven't really been an issue so far.

The test i did over last weekend was though. i'm not even gonna comment on it until i know how i did. It's one of those things that could go either way, and i have absolutely no way of guessing which way it *will* go.

Padrone has been absolutely wonderful through all of this. i am reminded daily of how lucky i am to be His slave. Our relationship is based on D/s of course, and i do still live within the framework (as best i can, Padrone has told me to do my best, so the things that i struggle with, i have simply left off, like remembering to tell Him what i spend every day)...and i know that's a way of showing my submission, but of course we both need more. It is easier for me since i have school taking up so much of my mental energies, and Padrone would never demand anything of me right now. But i hate that HIS needs aren't being met very well. i know He expected it, and i know He is alright with it, it is just the submissive part of me that hates knowing that He puts His needs aside for a time so that i can fulfill a dream. Yes, i know He is doing His job in taking care of me and making sure i am happy and moving forward in life. But i am going to serve Him soon, that i assure you.

i've been doing a lot of thinking lately about how this man, who has never met me and who lives across the ocean, could be so important in my life. i'll blog about that when this is done and i can do it justice, but for now i will simply say that Padrone is the perfect man for me, and deserves all i can give Him, and i will give Him all i have and all i am.

Right now, i'm horny but more for the absolute surrender that comes from being totally controlled, than for actual sex. i need to beg and scream and plead....for pain, for pleasure, for whatever YOU need, Padrone. God i need to give all of myself to You soon...very soon.

Padrone, thank You. Halfway there now, with a few big projects to go, and thank You for the website, as well, Padrone. You are so wonderful to me, and You have no idea how much i appreciate Your help and support and encouragement, and patience (which i know has been tried often lately). i adore You, and am so gratefully and wonderfully Yours.