my unique Padrone

You know, i have often said to Padrone how different He is from many Dominants that i have had the pleasure of communicating with. And sometimes i can actually express those differences in ways that make sense to Him, but usually He doesn't appreciate the differences, mainly because they are so far outside His thought processes, that they make no sense to Him.

But i am going to try to explain some of Padrone's views on D/s, in hopes that the differences will be obvious to others as well. Btw, i'm not saying others don't have the same or similar philosophies, rather that His are unusual and different in my experience.

Padrone takes things slowly. i know this has become a 'catch phrase', and that slowly in a long distance relationship tends to mean weeks rather than months, but Padrone takes His time, thinks things through, and doesn't even mention them if He chooses not to implement them.

But i'm not even talking about just use. i mean rules as well. i remember, quite clearly, when my only rules were no cumming, and typing an email daily, begging for more. The frustration was so intense....who had ever heard of a Master who didn't control more than just one's orgasm? And if i brought it up, He would say that He didn't know my life well enough to implement more rules yet. i had no idea what that meant. i was so used to arbitrary rules that were pertinent to the Dominant's wants and "needs" that had no bearing on my own lifestyle, that the idea that a Master would actually consider how i live, before putting rules in place, was a hugely dramatic difference. It took a while for me to settle down and just wait.

But He's done that with every rule He has put into place. And now, even *i* bring things up to ask about Him making into rules, and He will now explain His thoughts about it, more often than not, which brings me to another point.

Padrone has never hidden behind a "cloak of mystery". He is who He is, and while He doesn't always say a lot, it is more because He is a quiet man by nature, rather than Him being "mysterious". Those who are self-proclaimed "enigmas" or "mysterious ones" are pretentious, and their Dominance can't show clearly because they're too busy hiding to reveal it.

Padrone (luckily for me) believes in keeping His slave happy. His philosophy is that "a happy slave serves better", and since it is all about Him in the first place, He does what He has to do to keep Himself well served. (now that i've boosted Him into "SuperDom", i'll explain in a way that doesn't make Him seem quite so egocentrical.)

It really IS all about Him. And yes, He keeps me happy. i am quite sure that it began from the idea that i would serve Him better if i am happy, but now it is as much because He does care deeply about me, and He takes His "job" of caring for me very seriously.

How does He do this? How did it change from being all about HIM to being about us? Well, see above. He took His time to learn about me, about my life, about my family, about what i care about, about what i need, and He has come to care about my happiness for itself, rather than just a means to keep Himself happy. He has learned to trust that i will do all within my power to keep Him happy, and that has ... in essence ... freed Him to do the same for me. i have learned to trust that my needs will be met as His slave, and so many of my wants as well. Some things i don't even ask because i trust that He is alredy thinking about it. And nine times out of ten, He is. That is the kind of thing that makes Him so unique and unusual. He doesn't see me solely as a woman for His pleasure when it's convenient for Him. He sees me as a woman for His pleasure all the time, even when there is no sexual or overt D/s interaction going on at all.

He gives so much to me, and wishes so many good things for me, because He really believes i deserve them. Yes, it is about His power to grant them, at times. But He doesn't grant them for His own ego to be boosted by my gratitude (well....not totally, anyway). He does it for me, and my gratitude and the resultant ego boost is what He knows will come after the good thing is granted or given. He is so good to me.

His simple desire is to be adored. He has a need to know that my sole focus, purpose, will, desire, need is to be His. He needs as deeply as i need to give all i am and express the submission so strongly. He needs one woman to need Him. He needs to be her world, her support, her protection, her security, her strength. He needs to control things in her life, but more than that, He needs to control her thoughts. i mean, He needs to be in her thoughts as constantly as possible. He needs to be needed to a very deep level, and that is one reason He is perfect for this slave, and also very unusual. So many Dominants want to be needed, but only when it is convenient for them to do so. Sometimes they only want to be needed when they're in the mood for it, and they don't want to hear about it any other time. Padrone accepts when i am feeling mushy or submissive, even if He isn't in the mood to express His dominance, and allows me to express myself anyway.

He is the most patient person i know, even when He was hurting from things i would say, early in our relationship. He still believed in me, and believed that i would learn and grow into someone more pleasing to Him. He is also so accepting of others, and i am trying hard to learn from Him in regards to that acceptance.

He doesn't live a relationship in a chat room, or even on the phone.

His idea of a relationship involves one's entire life, not just a chat room. He goes online to chat, not to pose or posture. If i royally screw up and misbehave terribly in chat, He would punish me. But saying something that another person doesn't agree with, or doesn't like to hear, or "acting" in a way that others might not approve of, isn't something He takes serously enough to punish me for. Why spend our time together punishing me, when He didn't think i deserved it in the first place? Why look for things to criticize me about? Why expect me to behave perfectly, when i'm just me?

And that is the last point i will talk about this post - the fact that He accepts me as i am. He knew i was a sassy bitch when He met me. He knew i had a "mouth" on me, and i wasn't intimidated by most Dominants. But He also saw that my behavior had an underlying respect, and i was (and still am, for the record) quick to apologize for any offense, real or imagined, that i may have caused. But He accepted me anyway, and i have learned, as i have grown to know Him better and better, to behave in a way that He finds pleasing, when i interact with anyone. He doesn't want me to do as i have a tendency to do now (because of outside influences, which i can't, unfortunately, seem to shake the effects of), and be quiet. He wants me to be myself, the person He knows and loves. He wants me to express my personality, to stand up for myself, to talk and interact freely with folks who don't know me well because i am now too quiet for anyone to get to know. And i am working on it, but He isn't pushing me in any way because He accepts where i am, who i am, and what i express to others. He isn't critical or punishing me for not doing what i know He wants me to do. He isn't giving me examples of others' behavior to try to model. He isn't trying to change me. He knows that any change that happens is another expression of submission, and He will not take it, it will be given freely, or it won't happen.

And i guess that is the bottom line difference. Padrone will not take that which is not freely given. He will not force Himself on anyone. He will, when He wants to, use me when i am not in the mood to be used, but that is because i am already totally His. And if there were a valid reason for me not being used...like when i had surgery....it wasn't even an option. (mainly cos i couldn't type, actually!)

The point is that there are so many ways that Padrone is vastly different from other Dominants that i have interacted with, that i have asked Him to blog His thoughts about being a Dom. He said no, generously explaining to me why, and so the thought popped into my head to try to explain these things myself. i know i haven't mentioned everything, but the reality is that i am so wonderfully owned now, that it is hard to remember all the differences at one sitting. So this idea will be a work in progress, and most definitely to be continued.....

Thank You, Padrone, for that first pinch, and everything that has happened since then, to bring us where we are. i am the luckiest slave alive, because i am Yours.