*warning, small rant ahead*
i have to say that i hadn't planned on typing here today, but for some reason i can't get this out of my mind until i get it off my chest. i really have a hard time enjoying SOME others' blogs because of (usually covert) attitudes of jealousy, judgement, and competition. There. i've said it.
One of the best things about this lifestyle is that most folks are so open-minded about others' kinks. i mean, just because i don't like [insert disliked kink here], doesn't make it "bad" for others to like it. It isn't for me to judge what others do or how they handle themselves publicly.
But i have noticed in some of the blogs i have been reading, a disturbing (to me) trend that is getting a bit more prevalent. It's almost a competitive attitude, and i don't know of another way to describe it.
i had noticed it in chat rooms, but i really kind of wrote it off to brattiness or whatever....calling those submissives who behaved in ways to get attention "attention sluts". It is interesting how they garner the attention of Dominants, and also of submissives....usually positive attention from Doms and negative from subs but they don't seem to care. Usually it is in being "more", "better", "worse"... over the top things, attitudes, situations that demand that they get attention.
For instance, if someone comes into channel and greets politely...then the attention slut will greet "more" politely...if someone behaves submissively, then the attention slut will behave "more" submissively....if someone voices a problem, then the attention slut either has a "worse" problem, or they start teasing or bratting to divert conversation from the sub with a problem....if something good happens to a submissive, then something "better" happened to an attention slut. They disrupt scenes, or attempt to, they comment on couples, flirt with Doms in a commited relationship, and do all sorts of things to try to keep focus on themselves, even if it is negative focus. It's all a competition of sorts.
i have noticed that kind of thing in some of the blogs i have read recently. Not all, mind you, there are some people who are genuinely happy where they are and in their lives, and who love and accept others' with that same genuine attitude. But some, for whatever reason, want to judge.....if i struggle with one thing, then someone else struggles with something "worse"....if i have problems with service or attitude, then someone else is either "perfect", or has a worse scenario of problematic service or attitude. If my Master pisses me off, someone else's pissed her off worse.
Y'all get the idea.
(and no, i wasn't talking about me specifically, just a general "me" and "i", for illustration purposes)
It's kind of hard to stomach. i mean, it's really not easy for me to put my words, my thoughts, my attitudes, my service, my submission "out there" for others to see and read anyway. And i have always known that *i* as a person am being judged by the snapshot of my life and thoughts that is presented here in this blog, and being judged like that doesn't bother me as much as it used to, because i have internalized the idea that it really reflects on the one passing the judgement rather than on me.
The hard to stomach part is the "fakeness" of some people when they are doing the judging. i have read comments on blogs that have literally made me stop reading. i have read blog posts slamming another's blog. i have read subtle judgements in posts. i have read defensiveness and posturing. And i have read concern with the opinions of others, seemingly over the opinions or thoughts of their Masters (or slaves, depending on the blog).
i am so grateful that this is a peaceful little corner of "blogdom", where i come to type thoughts regarding myself, my Master, our lives, and our struggles, and i don't worry anymore about what others think, because i have seen the effects of it. So i'm going to stop rambling, stop ranting, and put away my soap box. i am going to cull through the blogs i read, and limit my exposure to all the competitiveness and covert judgements that can color my perceptions of others, and live in my own little lala land of seeing good in folks (for the most part). i'm going to struggle, type about my struggles, and let others judge me as they will.
i'm through now, promise.
i love You, Padrone
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