This n that

i'm not sure what to type about today, except that this has been a week of extreme downs, followed by a wonderful upward swing.

My car broke down, the radiator has to be fixed or replaced. It's in the shop now, so i am without a vehicle and that stinks to high heaven. But i am rather proud of myself because i almost got the radiator out all by myself, but i couldn't get 4 bolts out, because of where they were mostly (i'm short), and i couldn't get enough leverage to loosen them. One i forgot about - lol. i'm kind of mechanically inclined and not scared to try something, even if i have to talk myself into trying it!

So then i had a kind of a panic (yes, i am minimizing, Padrone), because of something stupid i did. Well it was not really stupid, because everyone has done it, it just makes me feel stupid. Yes, i freaked out, and yes, Padrone came to my rescue yet again!

But then i found a part time job, which i have been looking for for a while now. In our little town and rural area, there is usually quite a bit of turnover for minimum wage jobs, which i am fortunate enough to be in a situation allowing me to pay the bills with a part time, minimum wage position. i have no extras that way, but that's alright. Until i am fully certified or can obtain a professional job, i don't expect extras.

But i got a part time job, which i start next week. i hope my car is finished by then but if not, i also am fortunate enough to live in a rural area where folks help each other out, and i know i'll be able to get to work somehow. :)

And i was also called to substitute teach. It's strange, this early in the school year, but i'm not complaining! What's really strange is that i know in some places in the country, school hasn't even STARTED yet! So i am really fortunate and blessed, even when i do stupid things!

Anyway, the job and the substituting has made me feel incredibly good, and is a reward for a lot of calling, resumes, applications, and "networking". i never gave up, but see, i had no choice!

And i know Padrone is proud of me, because i didn't give up. i did, though. i was so discouraged i really thought all my effort was totally useless, but i couldn't NOT make the effort. It was more a "face saving" thing, than any belief that i would ever find a job. But i did!

And it has been so wonderful to simply feel all the wonderful emotions without so much stress. Yes, i do know that life is filled with stress, and i am not immune to it in the least. But when stress inhibits my ability to serve my Master, or even to feel the emotions that are always there to the fullest, then it is a huge issue for me. i love that, now, i am free to feel, to express, whatever i can and need to and want to, to Him. A huge weight has been lifted. i had no idea just HOW distracted i had become, until the distractions were minimized!

And Padrone has been wonderful through it all. Yes, i'm sure He was impatient a few times when it seemed all i could think about was negative, or my stressful situation. (Padrone, there's Your negative - kinda!) i didn't see it for the most part. And overall, i was amazed yet again by how wonderfully patient, and understanding, this man is.

He has told me that He wonders about the kind of folks i have been around all my life, because i worry that He will be upset with me when i do stupid things like i did this week. That statement really told me more about HIM than He probably realized.

And since most of y'all probably understand just what i did learn, i am not going to go on, especially since i don't have any more negative at this moment to say about Him to balance out the positive i COULD say!

And so, i have a post without much depth, without a lot of philosophy or emotions, simply designed to keep everyone posted about what's going on in my life, and to express, again, the gratitude that i can't ever seem to stop feeling, simply because i am His, and the pride in belonging to this man keeps growing. i hope it never ceases to grow. i am Yours, forever, Padrone.

Questa schiava e' proprieta' di Franti.