Something new and different, yet the same old thing

Well, i have been trying to give Padrone "boring" for a couple of weeks, i promise! Life has been so stressful for the past few weeks here that it's something i am trying to do - for Him, but for me as well actually. i worry too much even when things "aren't" so stressful, but i can be a real basket case when they are!

And so i have tried to spend more time perusing blogs of folks who have a sense of what D/s is all about, rather than those who make a choice to try to shove a square peg into a round hole, and call the mess that happens D/s - etc. A harsh assessment, maybe, but for those of us with real experience....a realistic assessment.

And so i have found a few blogs of those who seem to understand a few basic things about D/s that i believe can only be learned through experience, or through actually *listening* to those who have experience.

i'm going to try to explain some things i have learned along the way, and try to do so in a clear fashion. It will probably take multiple posts, which won't be a problem for me as much as i love to type!

Padrone and i were talking recently about what i should type here, and kind of what has made our relationship so strong. There were a lot of thoughts expressed, some that it seemed were kind of new...maybe...lol. i'll discuss some of those thoughts eventually

But right now i think i am going to go directely to what so many consider the "heart" of D/s - the so called "gift of submission".

There are many people who honestly believe that when a submissive woman submits to a Master, then she is giving such a gift - that submission is given. But frankly, "submit" or "to submit" describe actions, therefore are verbs, and submission is the act itself, or a state of being submitted.

Frankly, if all i give my Master is an act, or a state of mind, then i haven't given him much.

The problem with this whole "gift of submission" ideology is that the gift that is valued *is* the submission - that act of submitting, or the state of being submitted. It's more prevalent and more insidious than most imagine, frankly, especially with those among us with little or no real life experience.

It can be so easy to buy into the philosophies preached on websites, picking and choosing what we want to believe is real and true, and defying anyone who dares to disagree with us. But when one *lives* what one believes, especially something like D/s, then one's philosophies usually change unless a person is simply too arrogant to accept when one is wrong.

It is this way with the entire "gift of submission" idea. When a Dominant places more value on the act of submitting to him, than he does on what is actually submitted, then there's a huge problem. Folks, just as one doesn't say about a Dominant that he gives the "gift of Dominance" to a submissive, one also should not misidentify the gift given by the submissive woman.

The gift given by her, the one that should be more highly valued than any other gift she could ever give, is herself. The gift, if one chooses to call it a gift, is the control, the authority, and the trust that is inherent when one says "Master, i am Yours".

The act of submission merely conveys the gift to the Dominant. The real gift, the one that should be valued more highly than angels, is the woman herself.

Now, i ask you....is she, who would give such a gift, a worthless human being until a Dominant "gives her a value"? No. Any woman who could, and would choose to give herself in such a way is one who is inherently valuable - whether or not a Dominant EVER says she is.

Padrone, i am grateful that You took this whore with a low self-image, and showed her and taught her that the real way to affirm my worth is through believing in myself, in seeing the good things in me, and in understanding that i am a strong woman, a good woman, and a worthwhile woman with lots of accomplishments and even more potential.

Thank You, my Owner, for teaching me how to feel good about myself because of who i am....who i have given to You....and not because of Your opinion of me. Thank You for basing Your opinion not on my behaviors, but rather on my attitude. Thank You for punishing me when necessary, but for teaching me the difference between punishment and consequences, and also that even when i am punished, i am a valued and treasured woman.

Padrone, but most of all, thank You for showing me that i am not valuable because i am Your slave....but rather that Your slave is more valuable because of who i am. Grazie, mio meraviglioso Padrone. Grazie.