A Quickie

i've been trying to update for a day or so, but it's been an incredibly emotional place for me lately, and my thoughts have been too theoretical to type coherently.

Here's a teaser, though. i had a very strong, deep need for humiliation, expressed the need, was deeply humiliated, reacted to that (either the need or the expression of it, haven't figured it out yet - not the humiliation itself though, had a long, long talk with Padrone, and now i have a better sense of what is going on mentally, but i honestly have no idea how to think about it coherently, or how to word things clearly.

About anything, i'm afraid.

Had a nice Thanksgiving, cooked, stuffed myself, and worked. Shopped a little yesterday, things like that. Typical for me, until i get the kind of job i want and then i won't have to work over Thanksgiving break anymore! :)

i'm so lucky to have such a wonderful Master. He opens his heart to me, shares not only his thoughts but his feelings, discusses his own needs and desires and where they come from, and usually has an uncanny ability to tell me what i need to hear in order to find my way to acceptance, peace, and the ability to cope and deal with things that upset me about myself.

Padrone, this is short, and may not make sense to anyone other than me and You but i know it will to You. i am so deeply grateful that You made the opportunity for us to talk last night, even though Your circumstances weren't ideal for it. i am also deeply grateful that You give me time to work through the difficult things. You are a wonderful and amazing man, and the best Master i could ever hope for. i love You.