I Need You

I need you, Padrone.

I need the structure you provide in my life, for my behavior; I need the expectations you have of me not only as your slave but as a mother, as a woman, as your love.

I need your way of looking at things, and your ability to see the trees in spite of the forest.

I need your limiting me to not speak of my school except within the restrictions you set forth.

I need your help as I learn how to shift gears from obsessive student to your slave without driving us both insane.

I need your strength, your steadiness, your steadfastness, your constancy.

I need your patience. Yes, I will say that one again. I need your patience.

Padrone, I need the control only you can exert in my life.

I need the physicality of our relationship.

I need the release of "it all" that only you can grant me.

I need your clarity of vision. I need your ability to relate seemingly unrelated things in a way that not only makes sense but brings surrounding ideas and thoughts into focus as well.

I need your laughter, your happiness, your underlying joy at owning me, at having me in your life.

I need our conversations about your "boring" days.

I need your routine. I need to know that you will be there. I need to count on you.

I need your shoulder. I need your encouragement. I need your belief in me.

Again, I will repeat that.

I need your belief in me.

I can do nothing in my life without you believing in me, Padrone.

And, because you do, I can do anything.

Thank you for needing me to need you. I told you when we met that the depth of my need had scared many men away.

Thank you for needing me just as deeply.

I am yours, now and forevermore.

Simply, irrevocably, yours.