It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

And feel like it too! I'm not talking about the weather, or even the tree that is twinkling at me as if it has a big secret it is keeping from me! I have a major case of Christmas Spirit, right down to the ringtone on my phone, which is set as Sleigh Ride by the band Relient K! Every time I hear it I remember going to see them in concert with my daughter, and it brings back a lot of very good memories.

I just received notice that my last two classes ended in As, just like all I have taken since I began taking classes. I plan to take two classes in the Spring - one is a half-semester course, for 8 weeks only, and the other is a full semester course. The half-semester course is the same one that I ended up dropping in the fall, so I already have the books, the syllabus, and a bit of familiarity with the teacher, so that helps. I hope to be able to go ahead and get some of the assignments done, and maybe one of the "biggies" started, before the course begins. It won't start until at least the middle of January so I do hope to be able to get a jump start on it.

But I am not sure if I will be able to or not. At work I have had another major surprise, but this one is a pleasant one for me, even if not for some other teachers. My job has changed yet again. I've been moved from Elementary to Junior High, and I will be doing mostly inclusion. I will work with several teachers, and I will have the students in 7th and 8th grade, as oppposed to the 5th and 6th grade students I have now. I will miss my students, for sure, but I will not complain about going to the Junior High at all. The teacher who is going to 5th and 6th grade is really upset about it. She has always said that she *will not* teach Elementary, and since she is already planning on looking for a new job, I think this just reinforces that decision. I feel for her, because she has a semester of dealing with the teachers I have had to deal with!

This means not only changing IEP lists, but changing classrooms, changing buildings, changing administration. The only things that stay the same are the Sped Director, the Case Manager, and the Superintendent. I know these students because I have been doing inclusion for a couple of classes with them all year long. Now I feel that I will have the chance to get to know them, and help them, better because I will be seeing them more this way. I will *be* their Sped teacher, instead of them having several different teachers doing inclusion, or even none at all. I am glad it is working out, and I am glad to be in one school, and I am glad to be with the older students, although as I said I will miss my students very much. We haven't told them, which I disagreed with because of the types of students we have and their need for longer processing periods for new information...especially something as important as who their teacher will be. Oh well, that wasn't my decision, and other than seeing them in passing and (hopefully) grabbing a hug or two, it won't be me dealing with it. Harsh, maybe, but true.

So I am very excited about next school semester, both work-wise and school-wise. I have 6 more courses until I have my Masters degree, which I hope to complete next December. Wouldn't that be a trip? I also want to take another Praxis II exam so I can be highly qualified, and (even Padrone doesn't know this cos I keep forgetting to tell him) the Sped Director said the school district will pay for it! So I will probably take two of them, although the highly qualified one is most important and I will take it first.

And I can't keep from mentioning just how lucky I am to belong to Padrone. He is so warm and giving, loving and thoughtful, except when he plays backgammon of course. He isn't perfect, no matter how good he is, but we fit so well together that maybe it is our relationship that is so good, greater than either of us as individuals. I cannot imagine being with anyone else. I honestly have nothing to complain about, and this man makes it so easy to submit to him. I am unbelievably lucky, and I hope he feels the same way. I know he does, actually. I have no doubts whatsoever.

Honestly, I feel as if I am living a dream relationship. The only drawback is the ocean between us, but it is only *really* bad when we think about it, or when we have a powerful need (not necessarily sexual). I have been more aware of it since starting this job than ever before...I mean in an ongoing basis. I often would give anything for a hug, or for an evening with him, or a kiss, or .... well, y'all get the picture. But Padrone is just as wonderful as y'all might imagine about being even more "there" for me when I let him know I need it.

Padrone, I have often portrayed you in this blog as "larger than life", or in a more positive light than you seem to think you deserve. But all I can say is that you and my children are the best things that have ever happened to me. I would still be working at Wal Mart if it weren't for you, my Love, and your belief in me. Making you proud of me ...

I realize that, as a submissive woman, my ultimate goal in life is supposed to be serving you, making you happy. And you know, I love doing that. I love when you are happy and pleased with me. But, Padrone, the most incredible feeling in the world washes over me when you tell me how proud you are of me, and when you beam with pride over my accomplishments - big or small. I cannot explain just how that makes me feel, Padrone, but I can say that it is an addictive feeling and it motivates me even more than making you happy does.

I am not sure if I am explaining this well or not, but I do hope you understand what I am trying to say. My life has been forever changed because I know you. You could never have made this type of difference in my life if you had been any other man, or any other type of Master. How I love you, my wonderful, life-changing, Padrone. Thank you...thank you....thank you.