A few thoughts on M/s

i am slave, and while some don't really recognize my submission to Padrone since we are long distance, it is quite real.

For me, submitting is what i as a slave do, and the fact that i call myself slave means something to Padrone and myself, but not necessarily to anyone else "out there". It defines our relationship within the confines of our relationship, and the labels "Master" and "slave" are as just as much descriptive terms as "submissive" and "Dominant".

i also think that "what" is submitted is different in every relationship. For us it began with sexual things, moved into time...but more and more it became thoughts - focus. The reality is that all of those things fall under a larger umbrella... each of those things relates to the one in authority over us. The Bible says "where the heart is, there your treasure will also be" (not verbatim, but close enough). i will extend that thought to say that "where your treasure is, so will your thoughts, your words, your actions, also be". For instance, if money were your "treasure", then you'd spend your time thinking about it, talking about it or what it can buy, and acting in ways to either spend it or make more of it. It would control your thoughts, your words, your actions. You would have submitted to its authority, in a sense.

When it comes to people, it is much the same, although the authority is real and one isn't usually seen as "obsessed" because of talking about one's partner all the time! Padrone has my heart, i have His, and so our focus is on each other in many, many ways, and expressed through our personalities. We have learned about ourselves enough to know what we need out of a relationship, and how we need to be loved and to love....and the way we express those needs and that love is through M/s. For me, specifically, i have given authority over my thoughts, my words, my actions, to the one who needs the responsibility of that kind of authority over me - my Padrone.

It didn't begin that way of course...

One thing that has changed for me as slave, is that my focus has gradually sharpened more and more on pleasing Padrone. Yes, i have rules and regulations that are a part of my day, things i am expected to do or to complete, with consequences if they aren't done as they should be. But the things that are valued most highly are the things that i freely give....what Padrone calls "spontaneous acts of submission".

Those are things i do or say that are not only above and beyond what is expected of me, but they are things that show how often, how strongly, my thoughts are on Him throughout my daily life. He enjoys being the focus of my life, and i love to know that He is pleased by me.

Yes, the terminology "ownership" is a part of our relationship. And that means that i do, indeed, belong to Him. He has authority over every part of my life, but He chooses not to micromanage - He has no need to do so, and that kind of ownership suits my submissive needs perfectly. (Which is really nice, i think!) i do realize that when we are together, it is a given that His ownership, His control, will change in many ways, but that will be good. Our circumstances will have changed and must be reflected in changed dynamics in the relationship. Well maybe not changed dynamics, but the way the dynamics are expressed.

i guess that is what it means to me to be slave, and what a Master does that makes Him Master.

What i ultimately surrender isn't my free will, as so many would have us believe. What i surrender is authority over my life. He has the right, as my Master, to use that authority in whatever areas He would wish to control. He has the respect for me, not only as His slave, but as a woman and a mother, to not control things that have the potential to create havoc in our relationship, like my kids, or where i work (although if i am offered more than one job i have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that i will ask, even if covertly, for Him to tell me which one to take...and i have absolutely no doubt that He will listen to me list pros and cons of each job, and give input, ask questions, and leave the ultimate decision to me).

It is the authority that is given, and used, that makes me slave. It is how He chooses to use that authority that makes Him such a wonderful Master. Or that is the bottom line in my opinion.

i love having someone there to validate my decisions, if i have to make decisions. Like going to my parents' house this week after they had a sudden and unexpected crisis. i *wanted* to go, but i *didn't* want to deal with my mother, but i knew that i really should go....when i called Padrone, He basically asked when i was leaving. Such a huge relief to know that my decision to put myself into an upsetting position, and potentially more upsetting than it normally would be due to the relationship between my mother and me...was indeed, the right decision to make. i would have worried and worried without His affirming that, and i am grateful for the peace i felt for doing simply what had to be done.

All of the sex is wonderful, the surrender to His will that i experience with pain, pleasure, torture, torment, service. i love His orgasms, i love the power that surges through me as HE becomes more and more powerful through my ever-deepening surrender. But the daily expression of "slave" and "Master" in our relationship can be defined as His authority, my obedience, and that we have both chosen to control or submit to the point that now it is natural and wonderful and something we don't have any choice over any longer. It's nice to be here.

Padrone, i love to show You how i feel with my actions, my surrender, my daily obedience. i love that You are so absolutely perfect for me, in so many ways that i have yet to try to understand, much less explain. i love that You trust me, and that You show that trust through giving me the freedom to live as normal a life as an owned slave can. i love that You give me the freedom to spotaneously submit - that my days aren't so structured that i have no leeway to surprise You or offer something out of the ordinary in terms of surrender.

Thank You for being the man You are, Padrone. Thank You for loving me so wonderfully, so deeply, so totally. You are my world....even...especially ... when life interferes.