The beginnings of thoughts...

Padrone and i talked tonight for the first time in quite some time. We've chatted online but busy-ness has kept us from having time to talk much lately. Things will settle back into place soon though.

Anyway, he said some things tonight that have sparked some "thinking" on my part, and i am going to share them here so i won't lose them if i want to blog about it later, AND so i won't have to try to go back through the thought processes and explain what can be inexplicable jumps in lines of thinking.

He said that when we think of consequences as natural follow-ups of choices, we tend to think of "good" or "bad" consequences and don't usually understand fully that consequences are "more good than bad" or "more bad than good". In other words, relating back to my decision to tell my family about my abuse (i opened up about it 6 years ago, btw, and it still hurts but that's to be expected)...i made a choice, counted the personal consequences i thought of but am experiencing some unexpected consequences as well. And the other part of what He talked about was that our choices aren't as static as we sometimes think of them as being....they have a ripple effect, and we often feel the "ripples" for quite some time as a result of our choices.

i know i haven't clearly conveyed what He said, and i can't as clearly as He did. i wish i could. But i'm still kind of processing it, letting it sink in and become part of me, if that makes sense. It really hit home though, that's for sure, and i'm taking it very much to heart. Anyway, i'm still thinking....as my title said, this is the beginnings of thoughts. There's no telling where my thoughts will end up on this!

Padrone, thank You for giving me another side to think about, another facet and another perspective that i could never have seen on my own. You are so good about that, Padrone! Thank You for caring so deeply what happens to Your slave, Your woman. i am gratefully and forever Yours.