Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Refocusing


Tonight we had a wonderful time of refocusing, ourselves, our relationship, who we are not only individually but also to each other. It has left me feeling extremely .... i am not sure i can explain how i feel.

i am grateful to have such a wonderful Master, for one thing. Gratitude for his care, for his seeing what i, what we, need even before i know it myself. Gratitude for his control when i am feeling such a lack of control. Gratitude for his love, and his own need to have things firmly where and as they should be for us. i love this man, with all that i am and all that i will be.

The past few weeks have been almost unbearably busy. i have been working so much that i honestly have had to tell my boss that if i don't have a break, i *will* break. Of course, that didn't stop her from calling me later to work the next day, but i actually refused to do it. i was rather proud of myself, and i hope Padrone was proud of me too.

i have had to reprioritize my life, frankly, because i had let my job become way too high on that list, and that meant that Padrone had to go down. Not a good situation, especially as long as it was going on. If it means that i change jobs, so be it. i have ended up letting my boss take advantage of me far more than i realized, even though i did realize it was happening. And frankly, when i ended up with a pile of laundry too high to see over and no clothes to even wear to work because i had no time to wash clothes, it was time to put my foot down.

And so i did, and i took today off. i was called once from work and i didn't even answer it. i figured if it was that important, they would at least leave a voice mail. :)

It felt wonderful. And then tonight the strong reconnection with Padrone ... that was simply the icing on the cake, as we say.

i am incredibly blessed.

God, Padrone, family (although at times that has to flip of course), home, job. That's it from here on out.

i love You, Padrone. Thank You for showing me so clearly just how skewed my priorities had gotten. i am Yours, and gratefully so.

2 comments:

Florida Dom said...

Good to hear you are getting your priorities in order.

FD

turiya said...

I know the feeling... glad you've been able to realize what's happening and make the changes, though. It's amazing how fast something can dominate our lives.

*hugs*

turiya