i'm tired

i have always tried to keep this place somewhere that i didn't whine and complain. But i am tired....in every way one can be tired.

Physically i can't seem to get rest. i can't sleep well at night. i am always doing something or going somewhere during the days. From the moment i wake up until i go to sleep, i am required to do something for someone, and it is usually not me. i'm just plain tired.

Intellectually, i have had a time trying to figure ways to postpone things until money comes in. School is not a problem this semester, at all (so far at least, i am sure there are stresses coming, it is school after all). But i still feel drained, as if i have worked too many difficult puzzles, and as if most of them are far too difficult for me anyway.

Mentally, i have been worried and concerned over a lot of things. Stress about work issues, worry over the future, and yes worries about our relationship have kept my mind from shutting down at all. i do know how bad worrying is for me, but it is something i have yet to learn to not do. No, i don't want tips or help in this because frankly, i feel like enough of a failure as it is.

Emotionally....this one i can't even type about tonight. i am way too scattered emotionally to make sense of myself, much less try to type coherently.

But most of all, i'm just tired. Tired of not being....good enough.

That's all.