Just Stuff

Today has been an incredible day. I have a lot to type but I am going to start with an update of my life stuff.

I am going to be working in my local school district next year, teaching 5th grade Special Education (unless they change their minds. I have the job but the assignment may change, actually). I'm glad to have a job! I passed my Praxis II and now have that endorsement on my license which is good. Working locally will give the the chance to save some money and some stress of such a long drive. I mean, who can argue that driving 15 minutes to work is less stressful than driving 50???

Lots of other stuff has been happening but the biggest thing is that I have a major issue with doing my schoolwork this summer! I cannot make myself do it for some reason. So I did something I'm not sure I have ever done, that Padrone agreed to at least.

I asked Padrone to hold me accountable for completing my schoolwork.

It's really unfair of me to ask it, since *he* isn't the one in school, so why should he have to keep up with my assignments and when they're due? And it is temporary I know, if for no other reason than that these classes will be done in a couple of weeks - lol. I'll have more classes in the fall but not until a few weeks after school starts and I get settled into my new job. I think this year will be better because I kind of know how the beginning of a school year *shouldn't* be, and with this larger school district it's a bit more professional than the other district. We'll see though.

So today I wouldn't have even asked him for that because I was in "freak out" mode for various reasons. Mostly it was because it had been a long time since I had been able to focus solely on Padrone. I really have had a busy, stressful summer, unfortunately. I've missed it, although I hadn't recognized it before today. But today, I went to town for groceries and when I got home I voxered Padrone to tell him I was home and I got a return message very quickly asking if I was home alone.

Not typical, especially lately.

I was, so he told me to go put my eggs in (I have vibrating eggs that I can insert ... one in my cunt and one in my ass), and wear my butterfly clit vibrator, and kneel in the corner and wait for his call.

So he called and had me turn the butterfly on. Now, you have to understand that I have a major love/hate relationship with that thing. It is intense and brings me to the edge very quickly. But I cannot cum from clit stimulation alone, no matter what type or how intense. Well, I can't really say that because I don't know what a tongue would do but from my experience I cannot cum that way. So he can make me moan and groan and writhe and beg .... and beg and beg and beg.......with more desperation than I have felt in a looooong time.

God, I was insane. Finally I could play with my nipples and cum, and I felt as if I was screaming although I don't remember well, you know. Then he had me turn the eggs on, in what we call whore position, and hump....begging and cumming until I could think of nothing but orgasm and being controlled.

I needed that. But what I needed more than that was the words, the emotions, the love and pride and joy that Padrone expressed verbally, in his soft, loving, accented voice, simply because I am his. I was crying and drenched and tender and...oh god I needed it and I didn't even realize I did.

Tonight while online I served him unexpectedly, worshiping and loving and gratefully sucking and consuming his cock until he came. It was intense, intimate, and leaves me close to tears even now just thinking about it.

I needed it more than I realized. I needed to focus on him, and on who he is, who I am, the emotions, the surrender, the control. I needed to open myself totally to him, and to feel his openness as well. I needed to feel him inside me, in my very depths, and to feel surrounded and held and deep inside him as well. This is my life, and my reason for being. Being this man's woman is the most incredible thing I can ever imagine.

Padrone, I am humbled by the way you let me know just how much I mean to you, my Padrone. Sometimes I forget that not only the emotions themselves are reciprocated, but the intensity is as well. I get so much from you that I forget that you get as much from me. I'm humbled that me being myself is just exactly what you want and need, and that I make you so happy. I love you. You are an amazing man and my world is complete simply because you are in it. I have no more words; the emotions are far too deep. I am, simply and forever, yours.