Drum Roll Please...Wager Results

Well, Padrone lost our recent wager, and I was not offered the job I had interviewed for. I had even less of a chance because the principal was not even there for the interview, so I knew when I left that I very likely didn't get the job. Here is Padrone's first of three blog posts. And yes, it has left me in tears, in case you wondered:

The Heart of the Matter

It is quite difficult to imagine two people more different than me and my slave: she is emotional and giving while I am controlling and self-centered, she loves to talk about whatever is happening into her life while I am much more reserved, she is smart, dedicated and clever, but her mind tends to wander in a thousand different directions while I am obsessed by the need to simplify and to reach the heart of the problem, she tries to solve everything right here, right now! while I step back and take my time … and I could go on and on with our differences, but if you are a regular of this blog you already know what I am talking about.

As different as we are, we have now been engaged in a long distance relationship for seven long years and there is no doubt that we have become so intimate and important to each other that the only way to describe our feelings comes down to a simple, single word. And that word is love.

How is that possible? How can a man and a woman who have never met, who live at the opposite side of the Atlantic ocean, who speak different languages and have such a different background, become so close and intimate? Why does she choose to obey and strive to please me? Why do I feel that she is my treasure, my star, my flower of the south? How could we build such a solid D/s relationship? Seven years, and we are still as happy as pigs in mud!

When I was wondering about it the usual answers came to mind: trust, communication, honesty, commitment, yadda yadda. It's all true, of course, it all works but I was not satisfied. Those are all consequences of something else, something deeper, something basic, I had to find the heart of the matter and again it all had to come down to a single, simple word. And I found it, that word is respect.

True submissives are rare, even in the D/s lifestyle, and they don't live an easy life. A troubled past has often left them with a need to please and to find someone to surrender to, to such an extent that their craving has to be hidden from families and society if they don't want to face constant blame and abuse. It's quite ironic that the same families so ready to condemn those needs are usually the origin of what they are blaming but, anyway, subs are forced to hide to the world who they really are. My dear slave had to struggle all her life with her need to submit and the inner sense of guilt inspired by the uncaring community surrounding her and yet, with all that struggle, she managed to become a very, very good woman.

While I was getting to know her I was often amazed by the difficulties she had to overcome and by her inner strength, a strength that at the time she was not even seeing in herself. There was something deeply worthy, deeply … moral, in her struggle to be a good woman for her kids and her family without having to lie to herself about who she needed to be.

The more I got to know her the more my respect for who she is kept growing, and that respect is now the foundation of a successful relationship. Trust, yes. Honesty, sure. Communication, of course. But, most of all, respect, all the respect she deserves without even realizing it.

We all know it's possible to love without trust, to communicate without honesty, but when a relationship is based on mutual respect then every good thing can really grow and you eventually find out that you have built something solid, something lasting, something that at the heart of the matter, where our life has to be balanced, is worth living.