Update to Wager!

The wager has changed just a bit. We talked about the "freedom" thing, and how difficult it would be for him to remove his control even for only a couple of days, and how it would mean that I could act disrespectfully or inappropriately with no consequences. He chose not to answer questions I had about the story I will write if I get the job, and when I asked him why, he said that he was being mean and making it harder for me - that losing a bet is supposed to be hard.

What he was proposing was a vanilla relationship for 2 days.

You know, D/s is not always on the forefront of our relationship. It isn't always apparent or obvious in its expression. But it is simply part of who we are, and...well even thought it would be more symbolic than anything else...the thought of it not being there, by choice, with him having no authority at all, and me having no expectations placed on me....well, it just seemed *too* hard. (Although writing a 30 page story in 3 days would not be a piece of cake either)

So when we were talking about it, I basically asked him....shouldn't the one who wins the wager also want the results? It shouldn't *just* be hard for the loser, should it? And so he asked what I would like instead of that, and I thought for a moment....and came up with a new wager, that we both agreed upon:

If i am not offered the job, the result *I* expect to happen (I would win the wager but lose the job), then he will write a blog post once a week for 3 weeks. I will determine length and offer suggested topics - but I have no doubts that his own topics will be quite interesting and illuminating without my thoughts.

It isn't that it is extremely unpleasant for him to write his thoughts, or to share them (usually, he *IS* a man after all, with all the genetic issues with expressing themselves).

It is more that it is difficult for him to write long pieces in English. He has a wonderful grasp of the language, but he is seldom satisfied with what he types because he can express himself so much better in Italian (or so he says, I have to take his word on that one of course!). And now and then his grammar is a bit awkward. But it takes him a long time to write in English because of his perfectionism. So this won't be easy for him to do when he loses the wager.

I also get to keep my sexual exploration addendum, so I'm gonna have a little fun too!

It won't be easy for me to know that he is doing something really difficult for him. I'm not built that way. But I will love to read his words and thoughts that he will share publicly. I will have to simply be patient and know that he is the one who suggested the wager and made the choices as to what would be wagered. It won't be easy for me, because I am the type of person that I am, but I will do it.

Padrone, I am on the verge of apologizing for this particular wager condition, but...well, you agreed to it of course, but...the other just seemed way too drastic, and....difficult for us both. I know you think I'm overthinking something that will never happen, but that's the entire reason for the wager - that we disagree on the results of the interview! I'll have a much better idea in a couple of days, maybe. And I promise to wear my "lucky" blouse - I will do my very, very best since I really would love to get an offer from that district!

I adore you, my Padrone. Just simply adore you!