Yesterday's Post

****I wrote this yesterday but my internet failed me and I had to wait until now to post.****

Just spent a wonderful day with my adult children. It was so nice - the first I have shared with both of them in quite some time. Daughter had to work but son and I went to eat so she could wait on us (lucky her). But it wasn't long until she came home and we hung pictures and laughed and talked and just had a wonderful time! I left earlier than I might have otherwise, but she had friends coming over and he had plans with a girl he's "talking to", and it must be just about a real relationship (as opposed to a fantasy one, I guess) because he actually told me about her - lol.

So only one more week of work, and 1.6 more days of school with the kids. I'm ready for it to be finished, so I can rest, relax, and enjoy my summer off! I am truly enjoying being a teacher. I love seeing the students where they are now, and realizing where they came from, and accepting that at least a large portion of their growth has come about as a result of my influence upon them. It is an absolutely wonderful feeling, and so fulfilling. It was worth waiting all these years to experience, for sure.

So I haven't had a chance to talk with Padrone today other than a few voxer messages and I miss him. But now that we've been together almost 8 years I think missing seeing each other is not the end of the world. :) He'll be going out of town soon, and I'll be going to my parents' while he is gone so our crazy schedules will be crazy within the same time frame. Then I wait to see if I'll be allowed to go to the beach again this year or not. I loved the beach itself last year, but being confined and expected to spend so much time with a big group of people is not my idea of fun. I love these people, but didn't know how to say no when I didn't want to do stuff. That means, of course, that I either spend a lot of time alone or doing stuff I don't particularly care to do. Oh well, it's my own problem, and one that I hope to discuss with the matriarch of the family if Padrone allows me to go!

Padrone put the punishment back into our relationship after I begged for it, as I mentioned a few weeks ago. Last week he reinstated the "punishment jar" idea (but mine is in a jewelry box). He came up with several punishments with different focuses - mental, physical, humiliation - and I wrote them down on small slips of paper and put them in the box. When I need to be punished above the "smaller" punishments, what I will do is to pick one from the box and then do whatever it says. They are NOT easy to do, in any way, which is the definition of punishment in the first place. They are also a very real deterrent and preventive measure, because they are in my mind and the box is a physical reminder of the consequences of disobedience. I hate being punished even more than Padrone hates punishing me, so it is my hope that I never mess up badly enough to have to suffer those particular consequences.

Padrone, I am so grateful for your control, even when you don't feel it overtly. Our conversation about that is still in the fertile recesses of my mind, and I'm sure there will be a blog post about it sooner or later. Thank you for all you do, to me, for me, with me. You are so special, Padrone, and I am one incredibly lucky and blessed woman, happier than I have ever been in my life. I love you, and I am so totally, amazingly, yours.