Tuesday, January 09, 2007

the lucky slave

You know, i have to be the luckiest, most blessed, woman on the face of the earth. i realize that others feel that way also, and i know that they are, in their own minds, as lucky and blessed as i am.

How often do we find the one who seems to have been literally born for one purpose....to be our partner, whether Master or slave? That is exactly how i feel about the relationship that Padrone and i have, and He is the first to have mentioned it. He commented a long time ago, that i seemed to have been born to serve Him. And yanno, as hard as it has been at times TO serve Him, and as hard as we have both worked to keep our relationship going strong, it really HAS seemed that i have been born to serve Him. It has been "easy" in one sense, because of how well we fit together.

It hasn't been easy on either side, don't get me wrong. i thought we were doomed for a long time, and asked for release, but i was told in no uncertain terms that i would not be allowed to sacrifice myself for the reason i had asked for release. (no details, but Padrone knows what i am talking about.) That is the only time i have asked for release, although one other time i said that if i thought it would be best for HIM, i would....but i also, by that time, had come to trust that He knew what was best for Him, and that He would release me if He didn't want to own me anymore. So no matter how difficult it was, ending things ...... may have crossed our minds, but not as a truly viable option. i know that i have always seemed to know that He is that ever-elusive "One" that most of us spend our lives searching for.

Yes, i do realize that there are no guarantees in life, as to continuity of relationships, or anything else for that matter. But i also know that we both treasure what we have. i know that isn't enough to make a relationship, but the lack of that attitude can sure break one. It helps tremendously though, because i KNOW that He works as hard as i do to keep things going well between us. See, it is His patience, His understanding, His foresight, His ability to be flexible when needed, His creative ways of solving problems, His way of showing His care for me as well as about me, all of those things show His commitment to me, to our relationship. Those things, strength with flexibility, strictness with understanding of reality, and more than anything ... love but the focus on D/s no matter the emotions...those are all qualities that i need, deeply, in my own life. It just so happens that they are HIS qualities.

Conversely, there are so many qualities about me that He needs in His life, in the woman who is His woman, that it truly does seem that we fit perfectly together. That is why i am the luckiest woman on the face of the earth. We are both very lucky. Chance is an amazing thing....

Thank You, Padrone, for allowing this woman to belong to You, to have the parts of You that You have given her, for allowing her inside Your mind, Your heart, Your life. Thank You for owning this slave, Padrone, for giving all You give, for helping her grow and find herself, and recover from old wounds. Thank You for guiding, teaching, and loving her through so many trials and struggles. Thank You for being consistent and strong. Thank You for letting this woman be weak, and show her weaknesses....and loving her anyway, or...maybe because of them....

i love You. (yes, mushy. Aren't You glad?)

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