Mortality

My grandfather died of a massive heart attack at age 43. Of course, that was pre-WWII so health care was nowhere near what it is now, and who knows if he would have died now? Maybe he would have learned warning signs, gotten tests run, changed anything in his lifestyle that may have needed to be changed, and lived far longer than he did.

But he lived then, and died then, and the one thing that might be seen as positive from it is that it has taught my brothers and myself that life is not a "forever" thing, and made us aware of our health issues at a younger age than we might otherwise have become aware of them.

You see, yesterday my brother had a slight heart attack himself. i am grateful that he recognized the signs of it, called his wife and let her talk him into going straight to the hospital. He had no pain, but tightness in his chest and shortness of breath. He is still in the hospital and they have scheduled a catherter (or however it is spelled) tomorrow. They thought it was an extreme anxiety attack at first because of his lack of pain, but luckily his doctor had enough awareness of heart issues to keep him, and run tests to make sure. The enzymes are a bit off, from what i have been told, whatever that means.

Well, what it means is that his heart has been through some sort of trauma and is recovering from it.

And what it means is that my dedication earlier this month to a healthier way of living for myself has really, truly hit home. i committed to it for a reason, for myself, my family, and Padrone...and walking, eating healthier, and drinking more water won't keep me from having health issues, that's for sure. But it can't hurt, as cutting down on stress won't hurt me either.

i am glad that my brother lives in this age of medicine, and not 70 years ago when my grandfather died. i am glad his fear overcame his stubbornness and he drove to the hospital. i am glad he has the support of a loving wife. i am glad he is still around.

Not the kind of blog post i hoped to type this time. Not something i want to think about, type about, or experience. But i am deeply grateful for the life that flows in my veins, and i am going to learn to treasure it and take care of my body so it will take care of me for years to come.

Padrone, i will do better...my stress...my mood...my health...my immune system...my obedience. i do love You, even when it is difficult for You to see.