Finally Made It!!!

I felt Padrone's immense pride and love for me full force yesterday. It was such a wonderful, beautiful feeling, and I was so at peace with myself, with him, with us, with life. I finally graduated yesterday with my Masters in Education! It was such a long time coming but I think that made it more worthwhile. I enjoyed my graduation day, and Padrone was able to watch me walk across the stage via online streaming, which made it even *more* special! My kids were there too, so my day was complete.

I am still job hunting again, but have had a couple of interviews so far. I still have to send applications all over the place, as usual, but it will be incredibly nice to send them with my education updated to "M.Ed."!

I'll find the right place for me, eventually. I'm not the kind of person for whom geography is all-important when it comes to commuting to and from a job. So that frees me up a bit in terms of where I am looking. I don't mind driving a half an hour, or 45 minutes to a job, or even an hour if the job is a good fit for me. I'm not too awfully concerned about it this year, for some reason.

After graduation, daughter and I went to Olive Garden and it was PACKED, but we had the best time! We laughed until we cried, and got some pics to put on Facebook so family and friends can be jealous! Son had to leave after I walked the stage so he would not be late for work since the traffic was horrendous of course!

One highlight of my day yesterday - we were in line, waiting to walk in for the ceremony, and we were chit chatting about where we were all from, etc. The woman in front of me, getting her Masters in Social Work, said "I'm from (incredibly small redneck town)and my boob is vibrating!" It took us a shocked moment to realize she had her phone in her bra!!!!

On to health news. I can't remember, and I'm too lazy to go back and check to see if I have talked about some of the "new" issues going on with me. But the last time I went to the doctor she told me she was going to run a ton of blood tests to check for just about everything. And come to find out, most of what she checked needed correcting. So I am currently taking iron tablets, B12, Synthroid for low thyroid functioning, and D3 for "pathetically low" Vitamin D levels. I was a bit surprised by that, because I live in "the tropics" as Padrone says, and while I don't drink milk, I would have thought the amount of sunshine I am exposed to daily would be enough to keep my levels up. But apparently not, and when I googled Vitamin D deficiency it was almost eerie because I had every single one of the symptoms, but attributed all of them to getting older. Even all the kidney issues I have had could be due to low VitD levels, which would be absolutely wonderful if true!

So I'll likely be on Synthroid or another thyroid medication for the rest of my life. That's alright if it helps me feel better! And I do feel better, overall. I'm more able to think clearly, and to recover when something I do requires a major amount of focus. There have been times when I have come home from work, or stopped working on my portfolio, or even after an intense scene with Padrone and I literally had to go lie down because the mental effort was physically exhausting. I thought it was stress, and I am still sure stress plays a part in it of course, but the foggy thinking has cleared for the most part, and my "sassiness" is coming back and I'm glad of those two things more than anything else.

So, other than the lovely notes my students are leaving on my boards telling me how much they will miss me, and the notes they are writing on paper that I am keeping as treasured memories of my "kids", school is going well. There are only 7 more days in the school year, and an additional 3 professional development days after that, so I have two weeks of school left until I am out for the summer! This week we have 3 days of state testing, however, so the kids cannot cruise on outta there just yet. Once they have finished the state testing, it won't matter if they return or not (the Sped kids who are self-contained) as we have already given 9 weeks tests and there will be very little for them to do, other than to help me pack and clean the room! Believe it or not, my kids LOVE doing stuff like that, and have even offered to come on the weekends if I need for them to! They are some absolutely wonderful kids, or some of them are. Some are great kids with severe behavior issues that make them more difficult to love. I know we're supposed to separate the behavior from the kid, but with some of them it is more difficult to do than with others. Just like adults.

And that brings me to another topic, one that is close to my heart. I hear often about being non-judgmental. I hear it touted as the "only" way to teach, to reach students, to relate to adults, to live life successfully. Frankly, I believe it is an absolute impossibility, and refuse to feel guilty if I make judgments about others.

See, we *all* judge, but we don't all *act* on those judgments. Even my daughter, who is probably the person who would reflect the least judgment of anyone you would ever meet in your life, agrees with me. Even she judges, she says, but she tries very hard not to act in a judgmental manner. It is as Padrone has always told me, our behavior that others see and will react to, not our feelings.

So in my teaching, I try hard to hug even the most problematic kid, and to smile at the one who likely got me into more trouble by HIS behavior than any other student in my classes, and to "hang out" at the desk of the shy quiet kids who need a bit of extra attention, and to compliment the students who are motivated to push themselves harder than they ever have, and...well, you get the idea. I love all my kids, but there are a few whose behaviors drive me absolutely insane and I honestly wish they were not in my class. And yes, they know that I don't like their behaviors, but they do NOT know that I wish they were not in my class. And I am always quite careful to make sure they know that I love THEM even if I don't like their behaviors!

Call me judgmental if you want to. :)

Padrone, thank you for all you have done to enable me to get my Masters. I would never have even begun the process without your urging me to do so in the first place. So long ago ... getting my teachers license ... I was terrified, nervous, scared to fail, and totally overwhelmed. Such a shoulder you offered me even though you knew nothing about the topics I was stressed about, you were able to help me see the forest for the trees and focus on the big picture instead of getting caught up in minutiae. Since then, all the upsets, the tears, the struggles would likely have stopped the process entirely if it had not been for you. Tears are streaming down my face now as I strive to find the words to tell you just how large a part of my successes you have played, because while I know you realize you have been a major influence, I don't think you realize that you were often the only reason I persevered.

Hearing your pride, feeling the love and pride from you yesterday and even still today, has made it all worthwhile. That, my love, is my greatest reward. Thank you, my Padrone. I am yours.