dependence and balance

i often think about how much i depend on Padrone. No, i don't depend on Him financially. i don't even depend on Him to be responsible for my mistakes and my actions, unless they are relating to Him personally. i depend on Him in ways that i am not sure i could explain, and i am not even going to try today.

But one thing that hit me hard recently is the fact that the dependence can't solely be on the part of the submissive. The Dominant has to depend on the submissive, in some form or other but to the same degree, that she depends on Him. It has to happen, or the imbalance will tip the relationship from "healthy" to "unhealthy".

So what does that have to do with our relationship? Well, one day i suddenly thought...."Either my theory about balance being one of the keys to healthy relationships is a huge pile of bs, or He needs and depends on me just as much as i do Him." When i finally caught my breath after such a shocking thought, i came to the conclusion that, while our needs are different, and the things we depend on in the other are also different, the FACT of mutual dependence is just that for us, a fact.

This is something i had never really thought about. i guess i had convinced myself that i didn't give Him anything specific enough to make Him depend on me. i mean, any slave could give Him her submission, and could give Him her obedience. But Padrone wants......needs......depends on.... my submission and obedience, which is balanced with my need and dependence on Him. What a stunning realization.

Padrone, as You can easily imagine i am sure, this feels like a kind of turning point for me. So basic...but so hard to understand and accept...until now. No matter Your personality, and how Dominant You are in general, You are, and want to be, Master and Owner specifically of me, as assuredly and as powerfully as i am, and i want to be, totally enslaved specifically to You.

Thank You, Padrone. Simply thank You.