Friday, September 08, 2006

Owned

Beautifully broken, but yet not broken....indeed more complete, more strong, now than ever before. Just as one "breaks" a young horse to ride - done correctly, the relationship between horse and owner is stronger than ever after the horse learns to trust and obey, to channel its energy into pleasing its rider, because of the care and tender affections the rider has for the horse.

i am melted, reshaped into the person He wishes for me to be, changing at His will, willingly, eagerly. Now whore, cumming like a madwoman, begging for more, begging to stop. Now painslut, ass burning, thighs bruised, nipples clamped, sobbing and begging futilely, yet doing so anyway. Now pure submissive, controlled by His words of ownership and control, revealing His favor, His deep thoughts and emotions. Now woman in my world, separate yet inseparably joined to Him, no matter what i do where i live. Now in IRC, seeing His nick flash online making me smile the smile of submission, waiting to find out how He will reshape me today, or if He will. i melt and become more pliable, emotionally, just from seeing Him online.

What kind of chance meeting led to this? How did the two of us, so right for each other, ever even meet in the first place? Random accident of the universe? What led me into the chat room where my ass was pinched that day? What caused us to notice one another before then, for Him to deem me worthy of pinches? What was it that fueled the attraction, inexplicable because of circumstances - an attraction that neither of us really wanted to grow, in some ways, because we each knew it would cause someone to be hurt eventually. How could we *not* act on it? It was, and is even more now, a force strong and pure, first the submission and control reacting deeply to one another, drawing us to each other like moth to flame.

The commitment i never saw then, i look back and stand amazed at now. His patience, His steadfast vision, even if He wasn't sure in the short term, of where He wants our relationship to go, His slow but steady guidance into the depths of control and submission, all of these things and more are things that have truly come into focus for me lately.

i am basking, letting thoughts settle after another epiphany, another life-changing realization.

Padrone, somehow You saw me, a face in a crowd, and You ....... have created a slave.

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