Vacation, here i come!

My daughter apologized yesterday for the timing of this trip. There is an actual "reason" we are taking this trip at this particular time, but it is as i told her, other than being a bit careful with the finances, the timing is perfect.

When we get back on Monday night, i will have a little over a month before school starts, which is plenty of time to obsess and get myself all worked up about if i can actually do it or not. As long as there is a full crew at work, i'm not working such long hard hours, so i hope to be able to relax mentally before i start school. And of course, there is no way i could have done anything like this at all after June 1, because of school and money, and then teaching would require me to only take a break when they allow, which would mean we would not get to go anywhere for *this* long, until Christmas break. So the timing is actually good, believe it or not - lol.

We leave in the morning, bright and early, but i'll have internet access while we're gone, at least to check email and my farmville crops (hey, i *do* have priorities, yanno!), and maybe spend time with Padrone, although of course i have no idea what our specific agenda is - only for a few things, and that's fine. We'll play it all by ear, and that is what i am so deeply, deeply grateful for.

My plan is to go and relax, not think about work, or school....well, maybe school, i'm pretty excited about that....or the ex or anything....except simply relaxing...having fun....laughing and smiling a lot....focusing on Padrone even if we can't spend as much time together as we would like .... and "recharge my batteries" a bit.

That's a phrase that i can "feel" the meaning of, but i honestly don't know how to explain it well. i feel drained, still, even though i am better than i was. This trip couldn't have come at a better time for me, personally, than now. i really do need a time away from the stress, the simple daily stresses as well as the extra stress at work to perform better, constantly better, nothing ever "quite" good enough...that is a huge, heavy burden and i honestly don't know why but it is.

At any rate, a time of having some of the burdens temporarily lifted will serve to strengthen my "shoulders" so that i can carry the load a bit further. i'm so very, VERY, VERY grateful to Padrone for allowing me to go.

Padrone, thank you doesn't say enough, not by a long shot. But i think you know just how badly this is needed, and how very much it will help me to serve you and please you and be a more relaxed, loving woman as well as a slave who doesn't complain so much about things. You are so good to me, Padrone, and i could never live without you.