A few thoughts about D/s

i'm in a strange mood i guess. Things that usually don't bother me are really bugging the stew outta me lately. i'm not talking about my life here, or our relationship, i am talking about ...

i think i am beginning to have a real problem with the romanticized idea of D/s that i see just about everywhere.

Frankly, the idea that "Master/Sir/Ma'am can fix it"....and that submissives can't think for themselves other than to "hear and obey"....no decisions, or wrong ones because only Master can make good decisions....ugh....that kind of stuff really irritates me.

Maybe it *is* because i am in a long distance relationship and a lot of my decisions i have no choice but to make myself. But frankly i honestly believe that my attitude stems more from the knowledge that mistakes are part of being human, and that nobody can live my life for me no matter how "romantic" that may sound in terms of D/s....but the biggest reason is the knowledge that if choices or rules or expectations affect me in a very detrimental way, then they will be changed.

Padrone respects me, my life, and my ability to do or to handle things. He is Master to *me*, specifically, and the only "generic" type of rule that he has, that he would have with any slave he controlled, is that i may not cum without his permission. Other than that, the rules aren't designed to turn me into his idea of a perfect slave. They are designed for him to exert control into my specific life, which will allow me to serve him in the best, most natural, and least stressful way possible.

Yes, now and then there is resentment. Now and then i would *love* a day of just getting in my car and driving....not thinking of requirements, merely offering what comes naturally....or even simply having a few hours of just....doing nothing for anyone....recharging my own batteries....of course there are those feelings, now and then.

i'm human.

And it is that last statement that Padrone understands so well. i am not simply "slave", to him or to anyone. There are many facets to me, and yes i am slave....but i am heard and seen and cared for and cared about and not only for my obedience to him, or when i show a good attitude. He respects my intelligence and my personality and loves me in spite of all my faults.

i don't expect him to be my "knight in shining armor", or SuperMaster, taking all my cares and responsibilities away. He is no CalgonDom, he is simply who he is. He does what he can, but he recognizes, wisely, that there are some struggles that he cannot prevent me from experiencing, and there are some choices he cannot make for me.

Sometimes i wish i could just let it all go and let someone else, anyone else, shoulder my burdens. But that is a temporary feeling, one that is fleeting and stress induced!

Padrone, you have taught me so much, and i am grateful for that. i am glad that you taught me to look beyond the facade of the "romanticized D/s" and see what living as a slave is really all about. i am grateful that you have shown me the true meaning of Master, no matter what or how much of my life you choose to control. Thank you, Padrone, for being consistent, for being constant, and for being steady...the strong stake in the ground for this flighty, skitterish horse to be tethered to. i adore you, my Padrone.