D/s and love

i've been told that i have a true "slave's heart", and i think i understand what that means. i believe it describes my insatiable desire to please and be found pleasing, to mold myself to Padrone's will and to become the person He would have me to be. i have grown as His slave, as He has allowed me to understand (as He began to be able to express with more detail) the kind of slave His heart has always longed for. i have to agree with that assessment of my personality, actually. i have a true "slave's heart" by that definition.

But i also believe that when we use the term "true Dom" or "real Dom", we refer to someone who has a "Master's heart". This is a bit more difficult for me to discuss, since i don't fully grasp the mentality of a Dom. But what i *think* this would describe, based on what i have experienced and read and learned from discussions with others, is the personality that .... needs to be served, not for the service itself, but for the expression of devotion...of utter and absolute adoration...of unconditional acceptance of Him and His desires...that the service represents.

A Master values the slave's need to please, and a Dom with a "Master's heart" is one that a "true slave" will move heaven and earth to please. She will give all she is, and all she has, in order to serve, to please, to fulfill His smallest desire. She will search her heart and mind for new ways to give herself to Him, for new ways to show her utter devotion. And a "true Dom" will value her, not for the actions that so beautifully show her for what she is, but rather for the person she reveals herself to be through those actions.

i call this love. Of course, my definition of love differs vastly from society's definition of love. Love, to me, isn't based on how good the other person makes us feel. Love is based on how well they meet our needs, even those we don't know we have. For some, the desire to feel special every moment overrides everything else in their life, and when that feeling fades, as it does naturally, so does their "love". For me, love is the knowledge that i would be totally crippled without Padrone in my life, because of the needs He meets for me. And i honestly believe that He feels the same way about me, although He may not have wanted me to state that publicly! That kind of love does not fade easily nor quickly.

Some say love by my definition can't happen between Master and slave. Some say that if a Master falls in love with His slave, He runs the risk of romanticizing the relationship, and no longer treating her as a slave. i say that a deep, abiding, D/s relationship can't happen without love being present. i say that for a "true Master" and a "true slave", even a "vanilla" relationship would not be such....while they may act as equals, they would both know that it is only because He wished for it to be that way, and that any change in His desire or need would change the dynamic of the relationship. She would be serving Him by being His partner, if that is what He needed for her to be.

And yes, that is how the relationship is between Padrone and me. i would literally become whoever He needed for me to become. i would learn to Top another submissive, if He wished it. i would learn to be with a woman, if He wished it. i would serve every Dom who wished to use me, if He wished it. i would be Topped by another slave if He wished it. And i would be His partner in our relationship if He wished it. And the willingness to please Him with all i have, and with all i am, is what He needs from me, no matter the physical or mental things He asks. He may ask things i might feel are impossible for me to perform, and yet i will do them to the best of my ability. He knows this, and since that is the kind of slave He needs, He loves me for it, not in spite of it.

So i know that love HAS to be present in a successful D/s relationship. If it isn't, then relationships are based on actions, and appreciation is expressed based on how well a person performs expected actions rather than who a person is. Everyone will fail to meet His/her partner's expectations at some point in a relationship. Do we "fall out of love" because of disappointments, because someone's actions failed to meet our expectations and desires? Just something to ponder....

i have vowed to be the best slave to my Master that i can be. Padrone, as i have said so very often, You know my heart. You know the depths of my submission, how true a slave i am. And i know Yours. i know what You need to find Your own fulfillment, and i know the depths of Your need to control. i know just how true a Master You are. And just as Your control has freed me to simply be who i am with no hesitation or need to hide any part of myself, so has my deep surrender to Your will, expressing my absolute, unconditional acceptance of every part of You that You have shown to me, freed You to be who You are, with no hesitation or need to hide any part of Yourself.

i am so grateful that we have been allowed, by whatever forces control such things, to have found one another. Thank You, Padrone, for expressing Your "Master's heart", through such deep ownership and control of Your slave. i am Yours....forever.