Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Vindictiveness and childishness

This is one post that i have to be very careful how i word, since the last thing i want is to make anyone feel singled out or as if i am being vindictive or childish myself. The entire point of this post is a general statement about these two traits, which unfortunately seem to multiply like bacteria in a petri dish, among people who hang out in online chat rooms.

Yes, i've been on the receiving end of someone's childish vindictiveness recently. But what bothers me most about that entire situation isn't that i have been targeted by someone with an agenda, nor even that i only suspect what that agenda might be. What bothers me most is that it isn't an isolated event, and it is taken so seriously, and things i have said or done that were in no way designed to be offensive, became "channel issues". It happens with others as well, i have noticed, even if i have never been involved in any way other than observer, and occasionally i have been asked why someone has a problem with the person asking. i try hard to stay out of channel "politics" and so i rarely know, and wouldn't say even if i did know.

What i have seen is that submissives get "upset" or "offended" by things that are said in channel......or even "see" things and "wonder" about them....and then take them to a Dominant, who only gets part of the story. So, instead of two people who have a problem with each other, working things out amongst themselves (the mature and responsible thing to do, but the thing that brings less attention to the discord), other people become involved, innocent people who truly have no axe to grind either way.

Now why is this dangerous? Well, it is more than Topping from the bottom on the part of submissive who complains, although it is quite obviously that as well. It is also blatant manipulation of Doms, and an obvious attempt to discredit the person with whom they have a problem to others in the channel. THAT is the danger of this kind of thing. What seems to be forgotten, as usually is, is that there are real people behind the nicks in a chat room. When one discredits a nick, one is actually attempting to discredit a person that they probably have never spoken with, don't even know a real name for, and have no idea about the actual person ....... they just don't like what is said or done in a chat room.

So, what is wrong with this? It really IS just a chat room after all, isn't it?

When it becomes personal, then it becomes more than a chat room issue. It is an issue about people. And for someone to use chat room chatter in an attempt to make a person look bad....even to the point of assigning thoughts and feelings to that person that have never been there....then it goes beyond "having a problem"...it then becomes slander. Vindictive, childish, slander.

Now i feel better, i have vented my thoughts regarding this phenomenon that i have seen far too often. i have talked with Padrone about it until i know He is sick of hearing about it...lol. And i guess there was still more venting to be done, so i chose this forum in which to do it. i will state, once again, and FOR THE RECORD: This post is not aimed at anyone in particular, nor is it intended in any way to be taken personally by anyone. It is a general rant. If you choose to take it as an attack, then maybe you should think about your reasons for feeling that way....

Padrone, i seldom use this blog for this kind of purpose, but as You have repeatedly said, this is my blog, and i type it for me....and for You (which You never say, but i do). You know my heart, and You know that i have no intention to hurt anyone, to harm anyone. i have even questioned how i worded things here, because the last thing i ever wanted was to hurt someone with my words.

You also know that i am passionate about unfair treatment (except by You of course - hehehe), and that i despise childishness to the point of ignoring those who exhibit it. You KNOW where this post came from, and You also know that i mean absolutely no disrespect nor any "jabs" at anyone with my words here.

And You know what, Padrone? i finally have reached the point of believing what You have said before, even if not in so many words: If anyone has a problem with what i type here, then they have an open invitation to not read anymore of my words. :D

Thank You, Padrone, for helping me to gain a perspective on things that is far more healthy and peaceful than how i have always seen things. i can't promise to keep it, because it is very new, but i do promise to try my hardest to do so.

*kiss for the one who Owns me so deeply and with such deep contentment*

No comments: