submission

It dawned on me today that there are so many folks "out there" that are waiting for someone to ..... be the one they're waiting for. In other words, they want someone, but they're waiting for them to change into their perfect, ideal, partner.

And the funny thing is that i would, at some point in time, have said "ain't gonna happen", until i realized...that's exactly what happened with Padrone and me.

As i have often commented here, but which i am not sure how much i have expounded upon, our relationship is D/s first and foremost. All of the other emotions have grown from that basis. i know it's different, and strange, for it to have happened that way, but that is just the way things grew for us.

The funny thing is, He met the need i had to be controlled, deeply and gradually, even when i would not admit to having that need. And my submission helped to meet the need He had to control deeply. Of course all that changed after He released His other slave, and that is really when what we knew about each other came to the forefront of our relationship, and we were able to truly express things that we had, of necessity, held back from before then.

But the freedom that His control gave me to express my submission is something that only those who understand the D/s dynamic can really understand.

It is hard, now, for me to put words to the feelings i have for my Master. The interesting thing is that the submission is still the very basis, the foundation for all the other emotions. The submission to this Man is my breath, my heartbeat. It is something that i don't think about all the time, it simply exists. It hasn't always been that way, i resisted a lot of things for a long time, even while wanting what we have now. i didn't want to "get" here, i simply wanted to be here. It wasn't really that clear cut, and it wasn't that i was impatient.....i just didn't know how to get here from there.

What is my point? i'm not sure there is one to this post, to be honest. All i know is that i have been looking for ways to express my submission. In doing so i've been thinking of how i feel, and the reality of my submission. What i discovered is that i HAVE grown into the one He was waiting for me to grow into.

And He has as well, something i'm not sure He expected to do....but i won't talk about that here...

Another thing i discovered is that my love is inseparable from my submission. The love comes because of the submission being valued, appreciated, welcomed, needed, cherished. This submission flows through my veins, my life-blood, the reason i exist. How can i put that into words?

i have found no way to do so yet, and so..... i simply live it.